In cooperation with Indecency Eradication Authority of your local Vice Squad, we have been authorized to present criminal Indecency Violators such as yourself with a special offer. Indecency Violators who accept this offer will be spared years in prison, thousands of dollars, and many hours of pain and suffering. Indecency Violators are required to listen carefully and follow the instructions exactly, in order to avoid invalidating the special offer.
Criminal Indecency Violators who wish to take advantage of this offer should submit a documented listing of at least ten (10) known Indecency Violators, other than said Indecency Violater him or herself, when reporting to the local Indecency Eradication Authority. Known Indecency Violators may include friends, family, acquaintances, or others whom said Indecency Offender knows or suspects to be Criminal Indecency Violators. Said Indecency Offenders must fill out Form SO/SOB1942-13b in triplicate for each Indecency Offender informed upon, including the full legal name of the suspected or known Indecency Violator, date of birth, location of permanent domicile, social security number, a list of known associates, and legally valid proof of Indecency Violation.
Upon receipt and processing of at least ten (10) properly completed Forms SO/SOB1942-13b, said Indecency Violator will be granted a rebate of $10,000/10 months prison time which may be deducted from said Indecency Violator's current sentence, or saved in a special "Indecency Violation Account" to be brought to bear against future infractions.
Thanks again for playing The Indecency Game and . . . better luck next time.
Federal Office of Indecency Eradication Administration Authority
P.S. Please take the following into account when making your decision to cooperate: