Imported Direct From Paris (and no, that's not Paris, Idaho, you idiot!), home town of the INFAMOUS Follies Bergiere, it's . . .

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INDECENCY PAGE

This page has been accessed times since it was established in 22 February 1996; it was last updated 23 February 1996. True to our motto, "Indecency Never Sleepeth", we are continually adding and updating our inventory of indecency for your prurient enjoyment. Search for "[NEW]" to find new or updated items.

With little dollars signs floating continuously around in ours eyes, our crack staff here at the Indecency Division began a frantic worldwide search for cybersmut--you know, that stuff that everybody just knows is lurking around every corner of cyberspace--and other such nasties and naughties as infallibly would bring the public streaming into our corporate headquarters, and keep the cash streaming at high speed into our corporate coffers. It didn't take long--we soon found a whole collection of titillating cyber-indecency, and thus we have . . .

Indecency Exposed!

1. Local indecencies. This is our own personal stash of indecency that we maintain here at Indecency World-Wide Headquarters:

• This first indecency is one I really like, for many reasons. It is an excerpt from The Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey (New York: Avon Books, 1976). The book is a wild romp through the back roads of Southern Utah, as our heroes throw a monkey wrench into the path of advancing civilization. Worst of all, it is recommended by Playboy ("Excellent high adventure!"). I found portions of Chapter 21 to be deliciously indecent.
• Indecency is everywhere! There's indecency in my mail box, in my library, in my basement, in my coat closet, in my ice chest, in my mother's jam, in . . . in . . . in . . . EEEEeeeeek!!!!!!! Even in my . . . . . . Bible:
  • Onan's Indiscretion
  • The Men of Sodom
  • Lot's Daughters
  • The Rape of Tamar
  • Rabshakeh Makes an Indecent Suggestion to the Servants of Hezekiah
  • A Gallery of Piss
  • Two Whores, Together With a Graphic Description of Their Activities
  • Solomon's Bride in All Her Glory
• The definition of indecency is itself indecent.
• That 16th Century pornographer Botticelli contributes his share to our indecencies with a disgusting depiction of The Birth of Venus. . .
• That dreaded 18th Century purveyor of lewdness and indecency Jacques Louis David adds a filthy rendition of The Rape of the Sabine Women to our already revolting collection . . .
• Not wanting to be left out, the Pro-Lifers have contributed their share to our indecency--and yup, I do mean the upright, hyper-Christian PRO-Lifers, NOT those nefarious old immoral liberal and all-around-good-fer-nothin' Pro-Choicers. Connoisseurs of indecency won't want to miss this juicy Pro-Life morsel.

2. Worldwide Indecency. These are particularly juicy items that our dedicated and hard-working staff have found in our worldwide computer search for cyber-smut. Although we do not maintain these items, we offer this list of links for your prurient enjoyment:

• One of the biggest purveyors of cyber-smut is--you guessed it: The Vatican. The Martyrdom of Saint Erasmus by Nicolas Poussin (a 73K jpeg) has it all--it depicts abuse, lewdly exhibits the genitals, pubic area, and buttocks, and--hey! are those naked kids I see hanging around the top of this so-called 'art'work? Well, I won't even get into that . . .
• The lyrics to Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. If anything is indecent, these lyrics are . . .
• The Canterbury Tales by that infamous merchant of smut, Geoffrey Chaucer, are a fine example of indecency. Be sure to especially check out "The Millers Tale" and "The Wife of Bath's Tale". (Some picky readers may find the Modern English version of [the whole thing | Miller | Wife] to better satisfy their appetite for indecency.)
• The TAO TE CHING as translated by "Jesse Garon"
• More indecent Bible passages than you can shake a stick at . . .
• Harry Erwin maintains a list of examples of mainstream academic discourse that will be classified as indecent under the new law.
• The U.S. Supreme Court publishes a lot of smut and seems to spend a lot of its collective time thinking and writing about indecency and obscenity. All recent Supreme Court decisions are online. From this motherlode of monstrosities I have chosen one small example.
• The whole government is, in fact, nothing but a gigantic treasure-trove of indecency. Check out:
  • The story of the rescue of Captain O'Grady from Bosnia. I understand that this post created a furor when it was released on the internet even before the government's official version was released. But that furor will be nothing compared to the one our beloved Senator Exon will raise when he finds out that Navy fliers have been posting NAUGHTY WORDS on the net. Tut-tut. They'll probably take their medals away. [NEW]
  • The Diabetes Dictionary. Search for "Impotence". [NEW]
  • FDA Updates. Search for "Impotence". [NEW]
  • National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease is loaded with illicit terms, states, objects, and fluids. [NEW]
  • The USDA. Search for "abortion"; note how cleverly they have given this illegal information. Undoubtedly they are trying to skirt the law. [NEW]

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